


Enter the Shadows

by sexiudreams (Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson)



Series: XiuChen [3]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Accidental Self Harm, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Alternate Universe - Werecreatures, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Brief Implied Thoughts of Suicide, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reassuring Kim Jongdae | Chen, Reassuring Kim Minseok | Xiumin, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Werewolf Kim Minseok | Xiumin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-22 01:53:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13156680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson/pseuds/sexiudreams
Summary: Scientists failed humanity.In the heat of the moment, they thought they cured old age, bring about a new life where people could live for as long as they want; forever if they wanted to, die as they pleased. It didn't cure accidents, it couldn't beat illness, but old age was finally off the table.Or so everyone thought.Months after the first trials, weeks after the shot was administered to the general public, the first deaths started happening. Mauled by some kind of wolf, research began again. And then they realized the flaw.Upon turning 28, people begin turning. Folk lore would call them werewolves, people call them demons. Those already 27 call it no hope.Minseok is just turning 28, weeks short of his birthday, and he can feel it beginning to happen. Jongdae refuses to give up on him. He refuses to run. Minseok needs him with him when he enters the shadows.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by _[Shadows](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7G2t1bd6UtU)_ by R3D

_Sunset, I close my eyes_  
_I pretend everything's alright_  
_Drowning in anger from all these lies_  
_I can't pretend everything's alright_  
_Please don't let me fall forever_  
_Can you tell me it's over?_

* * *

 

The sun began setting, ending the end of the first of March. Minseok closed his eyes, dread beginning to stunt his heart beat, making it beat more erratically. He could feel the pain in his chest, rising, as though something were trying to fight his heart, making it expand rapidly. It was the first sign. He wasn’t lucky. He wasn’t one of the lucky ones. The change would happen on his 28th birthday, and he couldn’t escape it.

 

Tears welled under Minseok’s eyelids, warming his eyes and making them burn. He couldn’t breathe and clawed at his chest, trying to take deep breaths as the pain in his chest exploded, getting worse with every millisecond that went by. He wanted to rip his heart out, end this now before he ended up hurting someone, before the transformation happened. He was too close to the people he loved, being in the dorms, being in a relationship… he couldn’t let this happen. He should end it, end it now before it started.

 

The sharp prickle of needles under his skin, as though something were trying to burst out of him, made Minseok cry out weakly. He immediately covered his mouth, shaking violently under his duvet. That meant the sun was almost down, the moon was starting to become stronger and more prominent against a darkening, navy blue sky. He knew what this meant, he had read enough about it, the moment the age twenty eight had come up. He knew what was going to come, and he knew there was no way to stop it.

 

Absent mindedly, Minseok thought of this happening to Lu Han, in just a month’s time, and the tears got harder. He thought about it happening to everyone close to him, _to Jongdae_ , and the tears flowed heavy and hard. He hadn’t realised he was screaming until arms were around him, a hand stroking through his hair. Slowly, Minseok let his eyes flicker open, seeing Jongdae on the edge of his bed, concern written clearly on his face. His vision was yellow, like trying to see through a film, and he blinked a few times. It didn’t clear up.  
  
“Minseok?!”  
  
Minseok choked up again and forced himself to roll over, to turn his back to Jongdae. He hoped the younger male would get the message, but a hand laid down on his hip, a thumb rubbing soft circles into the skin. “Minseok, what’s wrong? What’s happening?”  
  
The tone of Jongdae’s voice said that he already knew. That it was the first of March, and Minseok was getting his first forewarnings of what was going to happen in twenty five days when the moon rose. The moon would be a waning crescent, hardly able to be seen, and it was a fucking _joke_. That the wasn’t a full moon, and he would still turn into a monster, and harm those closest to him. He would have no cares, all he would know was the insatiable blood lust that would course through his body, and sit in his brain, screaming until he gave in and gave it what it wanted. Jongdae knew, he had known before Minseok, he had been the one who sat Minseok down and show him the news.

 

“Leave me alone.”  
  
But Minseok knew Jongdae had done more research than he had; too sick to carry on, Minseok had fled from Jongdae’s side and the iPad they were using, had thrown up before eventually collapsing on the floor of the bathroom, half asleep from exertion. Jongdae had read about what people went through, he had done so much research, he had missed sleep before important performances, before training; he had become lethargic and collapsed on stage one time, exhausted from reading up all night. The promise in the air was clear, every time Minseok realised.

 

 _You’re not going through this alone._  
  
Jongdae had done so much for him, and now, Minseok was pushing him out. Throwing him aside. Maybe that would be for the best. Tears welled up even harder in Minseok’s eyes, as though trying to drown his eyes themselves. They couldn’t flow fast enough to get out. He should end the relationship, be an asshole to everyone, maybe quit the group. At the very least, he needed to move out the dorms before the twenty sixth, but he was _scared_. He needed them around him right now, and he needed Jongdae. Jongdae made everything better.

 

So when he laid down and wrapped an arm around him, and held him tight, Minseok rolled over and buried his face in Jongdae’s neck. The arm tightened around him, and Minseok felt his pain dilute, the tiniest bit. “I’m fine, everything’s fine.”  
  
He shouldn’t be lying; it tasted horrible on his tongue and on his lips, but he couldn’t do it. There were examples of people missing it on their twenty eighth birthday, and they had all prayed that Minseok would be one of the one in a million people to miss it, part of the elite that would be sent to trials for testing; testing to see if they could stop the transformation in others. Fans had prayed, SM Entertainment had prayed, everyone he knew had prayed, and Jongdae had prayed the hardest. He deserved the truth.

 

Anger welled up in Minseok’s stomach as he realised the lies he was telling to the one person who wouldn’t leave him. Who would hold his hand, hold him up, who would be there through _everything_. Jongdae had been there through almost everything, so why wouldn’t he be here now? Minseok knew Jongdae would stay, through everything. He would help Minseok be prepared and informed, had helped already, and here Minseok was, throwing him aside as though he were nothing. His tears of pain and sorrow changed to tears of anger, and he let himself scream into Jongdae’s skin. He let himself reach up and cling to Jongdae’s shirt, he let himself kick out, being careful not to catch Jongdae in the process.

 

Jongdae said nothing. Minseok felt the arms grow tighter around him, and a hand slowly stroke through his hair, trying to help him calm down, but it just made him angrier.

 

 _Why_ was Jongdae staying? _Why_ would Jongdae even consider staying with him through this? _Why_ would Jongdae keep helping him, knowing what monster he would turn into in twenty five days time?

 

Minseok didn’t deserve Jongdae. He didn’t deserve this angel when he would fall from grace, become a horrific creature of the night that would kill anyone and anything that crossed his path. He didn’t deserve anything he had. Internally, and not for the first time, he cursed himself for letting himself be talked into getting the shot. He had been happy as he was, before this, and now his life was going to be over.

 

Minseok couldn’t breathe. He felt like everything was bearing down on him, and he screamed again, before finally falling silent. He lay still, eyes closed, face pressed into Jongdae’s neck, and focused on the other’s breathing. He let himself breath with him, inhaling, exhaling, inhaling, exhaling, until he felt the anger subside a little. He felt the emotions starting to dissipate, and exhaustion took over, followed by a painful ache deep set in his bones. He whimpered, his fists in Jongdae’s shirt getting so tight, he felt the fabric tear under his fingers.

 

Minseok took deep breaths, focused on the words in his head he needed to say out loud – _but saying them out loud make them real, it makes this actually happenin- god I’m pathetic, this is happening if I say it or not- so why do I have to tell him-_  
  
“Minnie.”  
  
Minseok jolted backwards, staring at Jongdae a moment, before fresh tears welled up in his eyes once more. He broke into ugly sobs, and clung to Jongdae as though his life depended on it, as though if he were let to go, he would be lost; his heart would stop and his chest wouldn’t rise and fall any more. Everything bore down on him, and he couldn’t stop crying. This was happening, this was _**happening**_ , and there was no running away from it, no matter how much he wanted to.  
  
“I- Jongdae- It-”  
  
He broke down in more tears, wishing he could just be sucked away, anywhere but here. But even more, the overwhelming feeling of being alone during this terrified him, and he sobbed harder, soaking the shirt his boyfriend wore.  
  
“It’s happening, isn’t it?” Jongdae’s voice was soft, quiet as he tucked a strand of hair behind Minseok’s ear. It was immediately dislodged as Minseok nodded frantically, grateful he didn’t have to say it himself.  
  
“I’m scared… everything hurts and I’m scared… Jongdae I’m terrified I don’t know what to do.”  
  
There was silence, other than the sound of Minseok’s sobbing, and Jongdae propped himself up with a hand under his head so he could watch the other easier.  
  
“I… I don’t know either, Min. I thought reading up on everything… it would mean I was able to help more if… when this happened, but I… I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help, or how to take away all the pain and emotional turmoil, I don’t. But I know one thing. I’m not going anywhere,” Jongdae raised one of Minseok’s hands to his lips, and pressed a soft kiss to the skin, letting his lips linger. “I’m not going anywhere, I’m going to stand by you, and help in anyway I can, I’m not going to let you go through this alone. I’m going to do everything I can, even if just making your coffee in the morning helps, I’m going to do it.”  
  
Minseok felt lips against his forehead, and let himself smile softly. Immediately, the smile was snatched away from the pain in his bones and he whimpered again, starting to shake. Jongdae leaned back a little bit. “What is it?”  
  
Minseok opened his mouth a few times, his brain not processing anything past the pain to form words, before he managed to choke out a weak _bones_. Jongdae nodded and let his hand rest on the bottom of Minseok’s back, rubbing soft circles.  
  
“That’s apparently the worst pain, so maybe, with luck, it’ll be something you get used to over time.” He leaned down again, pressing a gentle kiss to Minseok’s lips. “But… some people said a bath with relaxing and soothing oils and bubbles and such helped them… do you want me to go run you one?”  
  
Minseok nodded slowly, and whimpered at the loss of contact as Jongdae got up, but did nothing. He disappeared from the room, and Minseok immediately felt a crushing sense of loneliness, making the tears well up again. He was sick of crying already, but he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t make it go away, his emotions too powerful, raw, and overwhelming to ignore them. He couldn’t make them leave him alone, no matter what he did.

 

Turning his head, Minseok buried his face in the pillow Jongdae slept on, smelling him there. It felt less lonely, and he choked on a laugh. He was pathetic. Jongdae was just a few doors down, he could hear the bath water running, splashing into the tub. He was _right there_ , and he was _coming back_ , so why did it hurt so much knowing he was just a few rooms down? He laughed shakily, starting to become louder, and more hysterical as it went on. He shook his head and forced himself to sit up, before crying out as his spine stretched out. It felt like someone was yanking it apart, a hand on the top, and a hand on the bottom, pulling with all their strength.

 

It took Minseok a moment to realise that Jongdae was there again, worry on his face as he stood at the end of the bed. Pain must have been written across Minseok’s face, because he didn’t ask. He didn’t do anything, other than walk to the side, and carefully pick Minseok up bridal style. It hurt, every movement hurt, but it was just for less than a minute, and then he’d be in a hot bath, he’d be okay.  
  
Minseok jolted as he was set on the cold floor of the bathroom, and weakly opened his eyes to watch Jongdae as he was carefully undressed. And then he was lifted again, into those strong, warm arms, and gently lowered into a bath full of hot water. The effect was almost immediate, his bones stop screaming. They still hurt, but it didn’t hurt as much, it wasn’t a deafening, screaming pain that left him feeling immobilised.  
  
The sounds of Jongdae opening and shutting the laundry basket made him smile weakly; even now, he was desperate to make sure Minseok wouldn’t be stressed by his dirty clothes on the floor, and then there was a hand swirling the water, tickling over his stomach, and he turned his head. Opening his eyes, he smiled weakly at Jongdae, sat by the side of the bath with his sleeves rolled up, smiling softly at him. “Feel better?”  
  
Minseok nodded weakly. “A little bit… doesn’t hurt… as much.”  
  
Jongdae nodded and let his fingers drift up over one of Minseok’s collar bones. “It’s going to be alright, no matter what. Eventually, they’ll find a cure, and you’ll be back to normal.” Dread filled Minseok’s heart. Jongdae was going to hate him, he knew it, he knew he should have never told him-

 

“And whilst everything is happening… I’m here. I’m going to be here. Through every night like this, through every transformation until I can’t be there, I’m going to be by your side. Every time you can’t go to practice, perform live, whatever, I’ll be right here.” His hand slipped into Minseok’s and held it tight. “I’m here, I’m right here. Nothing could stop me being here for you.”  
  
Minseok smiled and squeezed his hand. Everything felt heavy, and his head hurt. Slowly, he closed his eyes, trying to remember how to say _thank you_ with his mouth, but the world fell away, and Jongdae watched him fall asleep, relaxed a tiny bit, with a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

_There's a hate inside of me like some kind of master_  
_I tried to save you, but I can't find the answer_  
 _I'm holding onto you, I'll never let go_  
 _I need you with me as I enter the shadows_

* * *

A week had passed by, and everything had just gotten worse. Minseok could no longer perform shows that went on past sunset, fans had been outraged at the out of the blue time changes. He hadn’t told anyone, other than Jongdae and their managers; even the rest of the group didn’t know. He’d seen tweets, reminding people that Minseok was close to his twenty eighth birthday, and now management were changing the show times, making sure they ended before sunset? Most fans didn’t care, but the ones kicking off hurt Minseok’s heart more than the forewarnings of his transformation. He didn’t want to let people down, he wanted to keep trying through this; he held fast through so much that had happened, and now, people were upset. Tears pricked inside of him, and he felt the self hatred creeping under his skin, entering his veins.  
  
Minseok’s arms bent without him even realising, and his nails, hardening now, stronger, _and more liable to rip skin_ , clawed at his arms, desperately trying to get it out. He was pathetic. He had done so much, but now this was ruining everything. This could end everything and he hated it. He wanted it gone, he wanted it _out of his body_. He kept scratching at his arms, unaware of the screams that left his throat and lips; the only thing he could hear was his head, screaming, _out out out_.

 

Hands were on his wrists, and Minseok’s eyes flew open, staring up at Jongdae, yelling down at him, concern on his face and tears in his eyes. His hands were shaking as held Minseok down to the bed. Junmyeon darted in, Jongdae must have yelled for him, and Minseok realised for a moment that he could see red, dripping on his arms, soaking into his blanket. He wondered how it had happened, before he remembered that his nails had been the cause. He stared at it before back up at Jongdae as Jongdae carefully pulled Minseok into his lap. Minseok closed his eyes and pressed his face into the crook of Jongdae’s neck, inhaling him. His sense of smell was much stronger now, and it was a relief, feeling it wash over his sense, taking away the scent of blood, the food Kyungsoo was cooking in the other room.  
  
Vaguely, Minseok was aware of Junmyeon taking his arms and turning them, before disappearing. _Probably getting a first aid kit_ , Minseok’s thought seemed to hum in his mind, and he looked down at his arms. They looked bad, and he choked a little. “I’m sorry I… I didn’t mean to do this… I didn’t realise… realise that I was- I’m sorry-” His words were cut off by Jongdae’s lips on his, holding him tight. “It’s alright, I know you didn’t mean to, Minnie. It’s going to be okay.”  
  
Minseok nodded weakly, and stared at Jongdae, blinking slowly. Concern was screaming out of his eyes, and guilt racked Minseok’s stomach. He reached up to gently cup Jongdae’s face, turning him down for another kiss, before leaning back to rest against his shoulder, flickering his eyes closed as he heard Junmyeon come back in. The room was silent, time ticking by painfully as Junmyeon carefully cleaned each claw mark, bandaging them and ensuring that they were safe, before he left the room. Jongdae began rubbing soothing circles in Minseok’s back, and Minseok let out a soft sigh. This was good. This was nice. Sitting in Jongdae’s lap, before the sunset, before the pain; there was nothing but them, the world didn’t matter. The group didn’t matter, the fans didn’t matter, only Jongdae did, his strong arms wrapped around Minseok, keeping the hate away.  
  
Jongdae’s jaw moved, indicating that he was opening his mouth, and Minseok didn’t hear what he said. He blinked and leaned back, tilting his head to look up at Jongdae. Jongdae looked like he was crying and slowly, Minseok reached up, wiping the tears away. “Jongie?”  
  
He was silent for a moment, relaxing his face against Minseok’s hand. His eyes were closed, and Minseok would say he looked peaceful, if it weren’t for the soft sobs that escaped his throat, or the tears running down his face. Minseok watched Jongdae close his eyes, and finally swallow. “I’ve been researching all week, trying to find anything but I don’t… I don’t know how to take any of this away; I don’t know how to stop the pain or make it easier and I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Minnie, I’m so sor-”  
  
Minseok leaned up and kissed Jongdae, hard, stopping his torrent of words. Jongdae’s hand wrapped around the back of Minseok’s neck, holding him in place, and their lips moved hard against each other. It hurt Minseok’s lips, more sensitive, his gums already in pain from the forewarning of his teeth to grow and enlarge, but he didn’t care. He leaned up, straddling Jongdae to get a better angle at his lips, before finally, finally pulling back. They both panted softly, staring at each other and Minseok flickered his eyes down to watch Jongdae’s lips swell ever so slightly from the pressure.

 

“You have been here through absolutely everything so far, and I know you’re going to be here no matter what. I don’t care if you don’t know how to take the pain away like you want to. I don’t care. What matters to me is that you’re here, and you know how to help. You know how to hold me just right, and to stop all the horrible thoughts away. You carry me to the bath when I’m too weak and pained to even sit up in bed. You make sure I’m alright in the mornings, and let me sleep in until the sun is fully up so I’m not in pain. You help rub cream into my aching joints, and massage my back when it feels like my spine is knotting around itself. All the research you’ve done, it’s not meaningless or a waste of time, or anything like that. Every search, you find something else you can do to help me. More little tips that help ease the pain, even if it’s just taking an inch out of a mile. And it helps. It helps so much, Jongdae, I don’t think I could get through this without you. You’ve held my hand through every step of the way so far, and I know you’re still going to hold it, even after my birthday. I know you’re not going to leave me through this, and you’re not going to walk away. That’s all I need to help take the pain away. It’s all I’ll ever need.”

 

Jongdae stared up at Minseok, tears welling in his eyes again, and he buried his face in the crook of Minseok’s neck. Minseok cradled him, stroked his hair, kissed his forehead; every tiny little thing Jongdae did for him when he cried, and he felt the tension in Jongdae’s shoulders slowly lift. He didn’t move, he kept holding him, rocking him slightly to help him move, get some movement to try and shift the emotional pain his partner was feeling.  
  
Slowly, slowly, his tears stopped, and Minseok leaned back as Jongdae did, his eyes red. Minseok leaned down and gently pressed his lips to the corners of his boyfriend’s eyes. “I love you, no matter what. Nothing is going to change that, or how grateful I am for just the tiny little things you do that _help_ , Jongie.”  
  
Jongdae smiled and reached up, cupping Minseok’s cheek. “Thank you.”  
  
Minseok returned the smile and said nothing in return, letting Jongdae lay him down. It was their routine now, as the light from the window started to fade, the sun finally giving in and sinking lower on the horizon to let the moon shine bright. They didn’t even need to think about it any more, it was a natural movement; muscle memory guided them to lay with Minseok pressing his face into Jongdae’s chest, and Jongdae’s arm to wrap around Minseok’s lower back, his spare hand caressing Minseok’s hair softly.  
  
It wouldn’t be long now before the familiar pain went through his system, jarring him and making him arch and gasp in pain. It wouldn’t be long before Jongdae held him and soothed him, whispered sweet nothings to him and tried to ease everything, and make things more bearable. Once the pain had subsided enough for him to be lifted, Jongdae would carry him to the bathroom, and they would lay in the hot waters of a bath, muscle relaxing bath soak making bubbles around them, blanketing them in lavender scented warmth.  
  
He tried to cling on to that thought as the pain rocketed through him, causing him to scream out. His joints twisted and popped, getting used to the all too familiar transformation they would be used to every night after his birthday; his muscles stretched out, feeling like they were going to snap under his skin, his gums swelled as his teeth enlarged slightly, the roots expanding and blowing them out. Red hot tears streamed down his cheeks, slipping over the bridge of his nose to soak Jongdae’s shirt as his hands made tight fists, nails ripping the fabric as though it were paper. His hands locked into position, as they did every night.  
  
Minseok wasn’t sure if that was due to the forewarnings, or if he was just unable to let go of Jongdae; he’d become a rock through all of this, and the thought of letting him go sent cold fear shooting down his elongating spine. Jongdae’s hand was there, at the bottom of his spine, rubbing in a circle and trying to soothe him as best he could whilst the first wave of pain slowly subsided.  
  
Minseok managed a smile through the pain and the tears. Jongdae was there with him, as the shadows closed in. He’d always be there; Minseok needed him here as he entered the shadows.


End file.
